Look at this little boy and his grammatically-awesome t-shirt. He's a Love-of-God action figure. Just for you on Cinco de Mayo.
Yesterday, I got the following pep talk in my head.
"Your path is rigorous, it takes discipline, it's not always fun, but you've planned your work, now work your plan."
Most days that doesn't make me grind my teeth. Today was not most days. I woke up this morning and said,
"LORD, I JUST CAN'T."
"I can't study. I can't self-start. I can't spend another day alone. I can't write. I can't create one more thing."
Then I remembered the most central truth about me: I am loved completely by Jesus whether I create anything or not. The boy running through the sprinkler gets that, and it's why Jesus said the Kingdom of God belongs to little action-figures like him.
So I unloaded the dishwasher. Made a smoothie. Took the dogs for a walk and fed the horses. I stopped a few times to gaze at the sun sparkling on the pond.
This is glorious and immense, I said about the pond.
This is me loving you, the Lord said back.
WHY IS THIS AWAKE AND JOYFUL SPACE SO HARD FOR US TO CONSISTENTLY OCCUPY?
Sensing an imbalance, my life coach recently asked how I might celebrate all this hard work and discipline. I told him I wanted to get a facial. That was three weeks ago and I've not done it. The hard work always trumps it.
Like there are more important things to do than get a facial.
Like I may not deserve the indulgence.
Like it's ok to keep promises I make to everyone else, and break them to myself.
Jesus came so that we might have and enjoy our lives - all of it. The struggle, the triumph, the work, the rest. The facials and the sprinklers.
LOOK AT THE LITTLE BOY AGAIN. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE LIKE THAT?
So I just booked a facial and I am so pleased it feels like it's already happened. The funny thing is, I'm back at my desk, happily doing my work.
As the boy's shirt says:
This world is full of hope. Let's begin to proceed with it.