Don't Call People Out. Call Them Higher.

Do you know what humans need most for good emotional health and wellness?

It's to feel seen, heard and acknowledged. In other words, each of us needs at least one other human with whom we feel very safe and known - especially when the world feels crazy and dangerous.

Who is your person?

Specifically, who is the person you are safe enough to drop your mask with? Who allows you to pause the performance and say what you really need to say, without fear they will panic, judge, freak out, leave or give you advice?

Who is that for you?

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if you have no one in your life like this AND you are trying to achieve big things, it will be harder, slower and much more costly as you try to hold yourself together - alone. This is the root of burn-out and bitterness.

MY SUGGESTION IS, QUIT THAT JOB.

Believe it or not, when you feel really safe and known by someone, they can even give it to you straight, and it still feels like a relief.

"Wow, here's someone who can see the things I can't, and though I am naked and vulnerable, they are not recoiling in horror or hurting me. In fact, they're still smiling and helping me find my way. Amazing."

MAYBE YOU'VE FORGOTTEN HOW THAT FEELS. OR YOU'VE NEVER KNOWN IT.

Where to start? Find an old safe friend, a college roommate, a kindred family member who "always seemed to get you." Or, if those feel impossible, find a coach or a therapist. We are trained professional listeners, wayfinders, and champions.

You will gain a safe place to release all the heavy, a deep, abiding connection, and if you're really lucky, an unconditional ride-or-die friend who calls you higher - every single time.

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If you've got someone in mind, know this: It's risky to tell people what you need. Do it anyway. Call them up. Invite them for coffee, catch up. Then take a deep breath and tell them you need a trusted, listening, non-judgmental person in your life. You might be surprised to find them deeply honored.

Also...Your dog doesn't count. Sorry. Striking gold in this area requires you to live in the reality that another human can disappoint you, reject your or totally break your heart. Your dog would never do that.

Once you've got your person, and you know how good it feels, offer this kindness to someone else. Allow them to be safe and mask-free with you. See them for who they could be, not who they currently are.

When they have it down, they can pay it forward too.