If you've been hanging around here recently, you know I've been in a crazy dogfight over my mind. I hope that sounds as dramatic as I intend because it has been NO FUN!
A good friend called yesterday to check in, and asked how "the morning thing" was going.
"They're rough but ultimately, that too is a choice."
My own answer surprised me because it felt so so true. It's like I've finally quit blaming my anxiety and fear on anybody or anything else. This is my mind, my fight and it's my job to move this mountain. Luckily I'm not alone.
Here's what I know for sure:
Truth #1 - The subconscious mind is a garden. The conscious mind is the sower. Our thoughts are the seeds. Whatever you plant, you grow. You cannot think anxious, cynical, fearful thoughts all day long and expect to grow tranquility, contentment and abundance in your garden. There is no place in the natural or spiritual world where that is true. What a man sows, he reaps. Your thoughts are yours alone. So what are you sowing?
Truth #2 - So what that I have an enemy whose job it is to steal, kill and destroy me, I'm still the owner of my garden. Sure, maybe he can sneak in, plant weeds, jack up my irrigation, but they're still my crops and the grand design is for them to grow and multiply in abundance. So if that's not happening, it is 100% my job to deal with whatever is jacked up.
Practically speaking, here's what weeding looks like in my garden these days.
- I get up at 4:30 in the morning because I can wrestle without interruption. Believe me, I'd rather be in bed, but when you're believing for something big, sometimes you get to wrestle.
- I spend the first TWO HOURS of my day praying, meditating and setting my mind. I don't get up until I feel victory in my chest, where before, there was only tension.
- Then I go out and sweat for 40 minutes, six days a week because excess energy is my enemy and endorphins are my friend. Same with you.
I believe this is exactly what the Apostle Paul meant when he said:
Stop living like the Gentiles do in the futility of their minds. If you have heard and been taught by Jesus, discard your former nature, your old way of being in the world and CONSTANTLY renew your mind. Put on the new spirit which was made in God's image - which is righteousness and truth. (Adapted from Ephesians 4.)
Our lives are the sum of our daily choices - that's why Paul said CONSTANTLY RENEWED.
So maybe take a step back and look at your garden. What's growing there? Is it what you want? If not, what do you think about habitually? Those are your seeds.