Why Vision Boards Don't Work (and why they do.)

Last night, when I was supposed to be doing my taxes, I found one of my favorite movies on Netflix - Something’s Gotta Give with Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson.

In it, Diane Keaton is a Broadway playwright with a fabulous house in the Hamptons. She’s successful, middle-aged, and divorced. Jack Nicholson is dating her 30-year old daughter.

A classic Nancy Meyers set up - very 2013.

You probably think you know why a midlife coach like me loves this film: The gender politics, the satisfying second-half career, the midlife malaise?

Nope. It’s none of those things.

It’s the house. (My mom is laughing right now because we’ve discussed this before.)

Diane Keaton’s Hamptons house bears the salty stain of the Atlantic on it’s weathered shakes. Purple and white hydrangeas grow all around it. French stripes, seashore neutrals and cut flowers dot every surface of course, but her writing room…. with big bay windows, cozy chaises and French music playing in the background…ahhh.

It’s just a whole vibe and I love it. So naturally, about 10 years ago, I put it on a vision board. This exact image. 

Why Vision Boards Work

So imagine my surprise as I watched the film last night, and noticed the very dark brown hardwood floors throughout that incredible house. They’re in her bedroom, the living room under the Provencal striped rugs and even in the kitchen.

I have the exact same floors in my house.

A house we remodeled in 2020.

I remember having a nervous breakdown in Lumber Liquidators trying to pick those floors. In a 1936 Gulf Coast bungalow, gray walls and whiskey barrel vinyl plank seems like an unspoken design law, and there I was holding molasses brown hardwoods, thinking “this could be a really expensive mistake.”

Sam, well-past his threshold for my careful deliberation, (that’s code for indecision) came striding over.

“Is this the one you want? Great. It’s dark, but ok. Let’s go,” he said grabbing the sample out of my hands and handing it to the sales guy who looked like he had a bad headache.

Why did I even think that would work?

Because years ago, I had an image file on my screensaver full of things, places and experiences I loved or wanted - a vision board. My subconscious mind fixated on that whole Hamptons tableau for years and when I walked into Lumber Liquidators it knew right away. It had seen it a million times.

Guess what part of my house everyone compliments?

Yep. The floors.

Why Vision Boards Don’t Work

Nowadays, people make fun of vision boards because they were sooooo everywhere for so long they became cliche, and I think people got disappointed when they didn’t “work.”

But I love them, because the principal behind them is sound. However, like most bandwagons people climb aboard, you still have to put the horsepower in front of it.

You have to do the work.

I can’t believe I even have to say that, but The Secret and a generation of coaches left that part out. Doing the actual work of getting from where you are now, to where you want to be, is work. It can and should be fun, but it’s still work.

As Thomas Edison said, “vision without execution is hallucination.”

In addition, I don’t just teach my clients to visualize the outcome they want, I teach them to see it done, and say thank you for it. Then to get out of bed and get to after it believing there’s joy in the process.

Athletes know this.

I once saw a bull rider behind the chutes at a rodeo. He was on the ground, rope in hand, other arm in the air, pitching and lurching around, physically rehearsing his 8 second ride. I’ll bet he stretches and does sit ups too - and owns a good helmet. That’s the work for a dream ticket to the National Finals Rodeo.

Motor anticipation, what the bull rider was doing, is a big part of visioning, so is your reticular activating system, but there is unexplainable magic in it too. When you couple fresh vision with a daily plan, all sorts of mighty forces come to your aid. I see it so often in my coaching practice it’s almost a joke.

“Erin, I took a deep breath and made the call, you won’t believe what happened.”

“Try me.”

Visualizing something that exists nowhere but in your mind and the mind of God, is the first step in creating something out of nothing, and if the Great Creator put the desire in your heart to begin with, why wouldn’t he help you get it done?

But if you never pick up the phone, get the words on paper, say I love you, practice the music, do the sit ups, etc. your vision remains in the realm of someday.

Regret lives there too.

Of course, over the years, I’ve had a few things fall in my lap without much work on my part. It’s cool when it happens, but that’s the exception not the rule.

Why Midlife is The Perfect Time!

Because, unfettered by child rearing (or maybe less fettered), we have the opportunity to cast fresh, interesting vision. To look forward to creating the desires of our heart, using our decades of wisdom and experience.

So many women I talk to are bummed by what seems like identity losses at midlife - empty nest, divorce etc - and they’re ignoring the opportunity they have to create themselves anew, and instead they’re wandering around Target.

Don’t lose yourself at Target. Just go in for the candles and Joanna Gaines’ cute rugs. Then get the heck out of there and get busy creating a life you love.

Happy Valentines Day!

Erin

ps. Want to hear more about what we do and how? Pop over here. You can even book a free call to talk with my team about it.